yOUr wORdS ArE mY BiBLe

yOUr wORdS ArE mY BiBLe
An Ani DiFranco–Inspired Rant

It’s hard to watch your heroes fall.

Convictions strewn across the floor
Like the stuffing from an old musty mattress
That has seen both the best and worst of love. 

Audio waves that express thoughts so deep
It’s like they were ripped from your head
And manufactured on glowing red vinyl.

You are such a part of me. 
I grew up with you. I idolized you. 
I so desperately want to be with you, 
To know you, to be you, literally.

I watch as they tear you limb from delicate limb
As they grind your beauty with their heels, and, 
Cast your glorious spirit into a grave so deep,
Even Lucifer himself would be jealous.

I watch as you share your pain, your frustration
But just can’t seem to quite capture
   the elegance of your songs
In defending yourself.

I realize no hero is perfect, and artists
   the least perfect heroes of all.
But still, you are my hero, you are me, I am your songs.
I am those feelings and emotions that you evoke.  

It is my essence.

And now, it feels like I have no essence, no core, no soul.

Either have convictions or don’t, but if you do,
   defend them to the death. 

Be willing to lose everything
All your fans
All your fancy things
If what you believe is right.
If you speak the truth.

I love that you speak truth to power.
I hate that it might only be in your music.

Stand up and fight, girl!
   You’re killing me, because I am you.
Be the hero I see, the words I sing,
   The ones you wrote for me.
The words you wrote that moved me so much
That I sold my car just to be in your presence.
The words that make me who I am today. 

The words that are so powerful
   that my neighbor was moved to
Tears through the wall, just from the
   vibration of the speakers
The echo of emotions that flood my brain
   like the tears of a helpless child.

When the vultures attack you, I feel, 

Angry,
Frustrated,
Helpless,
Appalled,
And desperate
To keep you and your image safe.

Because you’re not just an artist to me, you are me.
I hear it in your words.
They are my words.
They are my thoughts.
They are my dreams.
And I cannot save you from yourself, try as I might,
But I cannot watch you be torn apart by the vultures
Dream by innocent dream.

Never take away a person’s dreams.
They will fight you to the death, or die.
I’m not ready to die. You made me.
To me, you are God.
Your words are my Bible. 

I am not prepared to be an atheist.

 

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